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THE SWASHBUCKLING ADVENTURES OF DR.M AS "CAPTAIN MASQUERADE"

So.... the quest began last week, Wednesday 31st October, Halloween, 7pm, with my vast assembled cast and crew deep in the ancient, mystical gardens (and secret location) of a certain JR, my favourite A-List Celebrity for who Dr.M creates a mad and magical party once a year. The annual event for his family and friends was this year had mice…  LondonMICE! The team were there, in character, in dressed up mode, ready to rock and to partake of the fun proceedings and get stuck in to the action, adventure, intrigue and of course always, but always ready to EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED!

And there I was, as the ancient sea pirate himself, the bold and gallant Captain Masquerade with my three mini dwarf pirates to boot! Fun ahoy eh? What a mad hoot this event was going to be!

The Siren's Lair:
First the guests all travelled through the Sirens Lair... a sea tunnel...guarded by the beauteous sea creature herself. She greeted them at the tunnel entrance and sung a short verse that everyone repeated in unison for her to then open the floodgates to her enchanted underwater tunnel. Once opened, they had to enter it quickly, taking a deep breath and trying to navigate its rippling, watery environs without getting drowned or eaten alive by sharks!

Mermaids of Seduction?
In its Underwater Labyrinth there were 2 Mermaids, and a baby Mermaid, one of the East and one of the West. They were so beautiful and elegant but were also very untouchable. If you touched them you would be turned to stone! The Mermaids tried to distract everyone but luckily the guests all escaped still in human form… which was just as well, as they and then came face to face with the Sea Witch.  She lived on the other side of the labyrinth, in a giant sea cove by a giant sea stone... She was pleased to see them, but only because loved chocolate, which traded for further information on how to find and destroy Black Pete, the evil sea devil who had taken Captain Masquerade's ship hostage and turned all his crew into Zombie pirates.

The Putrid Smell of Pumpkin
To prepare for battle with Black Pete, they needed to find magic sea swords that Black Pete had buried in the Putrid Pumpkin Patch. These swords were the only thing that could dislodge the Zombified Starfish that had attached themselves on to the backs of the Zombie Pirates, and free them finally.  The thrills were mounting, as was the intrigue and fantasy of the plot, all dreamt up by JR himself and co-scripted with Dr.M a few weeks before the event.

The guests went search of the swords, finding them in the pumpkin patch with several pumpkins buried above ground. When they approached them, a couple of pumpkins came alive and tried to scare them off, but were thwarted by the pirate rings Captain Masquerade had given to protected the guests. Don't forget, when they pointed the rings and said the words "Plunder me Thunder!", they retreated. Wow… a powerful thing indeed!!

Black Pete - War Lord or Wimp?
They held the pumpkin guards off long enough to dig up the Sea Fish Swords so they could carry on....and finally come face to face with the Zombie Pirates who had taken back the "SS Masquerade" and were sworn to defend it along with the lost zombie treasure to the death. So captain Masquerade, now led by the 3 mini pirates, re-energised by the thought that they could win the day and avenge him, stormed on and forwards. Black Pete had no chance!

What happened? How? Was there a fight? Where was the treasure?? And in fact, what on earth did Moira, Jerry and Hugh get up to and who were they eh?

Read on and all will be revealed!!

Moira was the Mermaid of the West, and had this to say, somewhat fishily:
"My other half, Bad Bob of Bermuda and I have known Dr M for some time now, so we were over the moon when he asked us to assist him at JR's Halloween party. Bob somehow became a zombie pirate, while I morphed into the Mermaid of the West. Though I had visions of Darryl Hannah in Splash and becoming something terribly glamorous, but fishy, it transpired that Dr M had other ideas. To my horror, I was actually turned into a ghastly, somewhat tall smurf with a fish tail.  After being painted a lovely shade of royal blue, I was located in a tunnel, where it was my job to seduce (in want of a better word) the approaching guests into abandoning their mission to find Black Pete's treasure. I dont know if you've ever tried to seduce anyone while painted bright blue, but let me tell you, its a toughie. JR's guests were told that if I touched them they would turn to stone.  With this warning in mind coupled with my  er...interesting Halloween look, I had no trouble scaring the living daylights out of everyone and particularly the adults. In fact, I've never seen people try to get away from me so fast, ever.  Hmnn, perhaps I should dress up like this again the next time the Mormons come knocking on my door.  What do you think?"

Hugh was a Pumpkin Head and with his sackcloth on, has this observation to make:
"It was my duty to hide in the “putrid pumpkin-patch” until the guests got close enough for me to leap out, screaming, and attempting to leave some mental scars. I was particularly proud of my efforts with a certain special guest's girlfriend when she attempted to ‘pluck’ my pumpkin head not realizing what lurked beneath. I dutifully leaped up with a terrifying scream that even worried me a bit, and sacred her so badly she may have needed a change in underwear!  I know I certainly did!!  What did RB think eh?"

Jerry was the evil Black Pete himself so he has the last word and he was sheer bad ass the whole night:
"I‘ve always been a fan of Halloween, so it was great being able to play Black Pete - King of the zombie pirates! I got to have my face transformed into a half puffer fish, half human monstrosity. Plus, I got to sit on my own thrown and command a hoard of monsters. And, I also had the privileged honor of being plastic-sword-whacked by JR’s guests and friends: “and boy did they whack him” quipped our A-lister in his subsequent Saturday radio show. Yes, it was great fun and I’d definitely do it again….although next time I may opt to wear some kind of plastic-sword-whack proof material on my soft areas."

And Dr.M only has this to add:

LondonMICE, now you have all had a taste of my unexpected expectations… so rock on for the next mad bad Dr.M event eh?

God bless...

Dr.M aka Captain Masquerade