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A Fine Romance - Are Office Rommances Good or Bad?

Cupid’s arrows are flying in from all angles at this time of year. As you will have already organised all your professional events for Feb 14th, this month Corporate Flirt is dealing with office romances and some of the poisoned arrows that result!

So, Offices Romances - Are They A Good Idea? 
Most of us have horror stories to tell on this subject but it’s not surprising that we continue to have office romances since we spend a third of our lives at work. Research also shows that you are more likely to fall for someone at work as you are probably working with like-minded people but also as a result of constant  exposure! 

When you meet someone for the first time, you will probably ask them lots of questions to try to find common ground. Of course, when you work with someone, you already have a bond because you are working for the same organisation or at the same event. From here the relationship starts to build. You are probably spending a lot of time with this person, more than you would do if you were just out and about on the Singles Market. It is not surprising then that many of us end up going out with people we work with.

Office Romance Problems - And There Are A Few
The downside of office romances are numerous. You could be annoying your colleagues, who may feel that you are getting favoured and preferential treatment; that recent promotion only happened because of who you were sleeping with. Your lovey dovey talk to “Snuggle Bunnykin” might be sweet to you, but really embarrassing to the person sitting next to you. Public displays of affection can be just down right annoying because many of us feel that all that hand-holding and smooching should be kept private.

At other times, your co-workers may feel embarrassed that you are romancing another colleague. It may be that they have told you something in confidence, that they wouldn’t have said if they had known you were in that relationship. They may also feel a sense of betrayal; that they have been kept out of the loop in some way. Or, they may just be concerned about inappropriate pillow talk.

Your office relationship can also do your professional reputation some harm. And if you have indulged in more than one relationship at work, you may find that there is lots of gossip about you. Some people can be quite spiteful and call you names behind your back. The one thing you really do not need is to be called the “office bike”!  We may be living by the rules of sexual equality; (The Sex Discrimination Act came into effect in 1975). But it seems there are still double standards in the workplace and that men and women are judged differently. (No prizes for guessing who often comes out on top!) Actually, on that note Guys, remember your joking sexual banter might be fun and flirty for you but might be misconstrued and be considered harassment by the object of your affections.

With the best will in the world, many of us find it difficult to leave our “relationships” at home. So niggling disagreements can become full blown rows. Which again can cause awkwardness with colleagues. When that romance fails, in some extreme cases some of us have found ourselves in the position where we have left our jobs (or just wanted to) because we cannot face seeing our ex partners! Or it may be that we couldn’t cope with the jealousy of seeing the ex flirting with someone new.

With All This in mind Corporate Flirt has come up with The 10 Rules of Engagement

1 Look before you leap!
2 Go slowly!
3 Think how much you love your job - if things go pear shaped will you want to leave?
4 Be discreet - no flaunting of your affair
5 Stop making excuses to bump into your lover at the water cooler.
6 Leave those disagreements at home.
7 Notice when you are mimicking your partners body language and adjust to a different position - this stops others feeling left out and overwhelmed.
8 Be considerate of your colleagues and position.
9 If it really is a long term relationship then quietly let people know so they do not say anything they will regret.
10 Enjoy, have fun, this could be the love of your life.

Don't Forget!!
So remember office romances may not be the end of the world, although there can be a few pitfalls but in the Valentine’s season cupid’s arrows could reach the object of your desire. So if you follow this simple guide you could get the best of both worlds; a fine romance and a good office environment.  ‘events’ and romance are never dull.

More information
For more information on talks, training and executive behaviour development either generally or for your next event, please contact Carole Railton via www.lifeafterbranding.com or at carole@lifeafterbranding.com, quoting LondonMICE. You can also reach her on +44 (0)7866 531 400.